Dear April – A Letter to my Younger Self

A prompt like this is always a lot to think about, so I thought it deserved a blog post instead of an extended instagram paragraph. Let’s pick an age of Rhiannon I’ll talk to – high school seems like a solid choice.

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Dear 17 year old me:

Hey! It’s me, almost 10 years later (our birthday is in 8 days, and you’re still counting it down with Colleen. I’d be surprised if we ever stopped doing that). I wanted to give you some insight on what we’re like as an adult, if you could call it that. I guess I’d look at me as an adult. Moving on.

Here are some nifty facts you can look forward to: Our hair color never stops changing. You tried blonde twice and it really just didn’t work. We have 3 tattoos, and the third one is three numbers that add up to three – cool! It’s reminiscent of how much we miss high school, so since you’re still there, keep enjoying yourself – sans that awful girl we hate. The guy you went to prom with you marriedAnd you were both allowed to buy a house together. You joke about the times that our Moms had to drive us to hang out, because we were babies when we started dating. Everyone you were friends with in high school who mattered, you are in fact still friends with. None of them live near you, of course, but you love them all the same. You are making it, as far as we’re concerned, though you’re not sure how you managed it.

Here are some things you’re not expecting: You don’t have a brother anymore, you have a sister. She’s really great and has a vibrant personality, just like he did, except she feels a lot better about herself now. She’s dating, and it’s super weird for you – you’re hoping you’ll get over it soon. College will not be your favorite time, I’m sorry about how much we hyped it up – but it’s a time for learning and growth, and you’ll be a better human after you go through it, not to mention you come out with some pretty great relationships that are still intact almost 5 years later. You have a series of identity crises that make you feel completely lost and useless, but that guy you married makes everything a lot more manageable and you’ll make it through the other side. Also, you drink now – not related to the last comment. Yeah, bet you didn’t think that would happen. It’s not a ridiculous amount of drinking, but you actually like love whiskey and don’t turn your nose up at people who do drink. It’s okay that you were a snot, I’ll allow it. You also moved out to Connecticut, I’m so sorry it isn’t Seattle or NYC. But it’s not as bad as you think it is right now – there is more to CT than Grandma’s house and the dingy area around the ferry. Promise. Mom and Dad are even moving up here, which you’re excited about!

A couple other things: You will never decide what you want to do with your life. The feeling that starts creeping in during your second year of school about “maybe design isn’t the only field for me,” will never ever go away. Except now, we accept it as one of our skill sets, and we’re super anxious to learn more about basically everything. You dabble in youtube – which I’m not even sure you’ve heard of yet (oh, it’s BRAND new for you, nevermind), and you would love to dedicate more time to that and your blog. You know, the blog you’re imagining yourself reading right now – that one. You finally get a tarot deck and start learning how to read it, you get into crystals which is still a weird concept for you, and you really really need to keep up with the yoga.

Keep enjoying YTMND, open campus and the exhilaration of driving stick shift, since those things don’t last. Enjoy being 25 pounds thinner, even though you still won’t be happy about it – sorry about that weight gain, too. If I could give you a tip, there’s this show called Supernatural that started airing a year ago to when you should be reading this, and if you started watching it now you’d be an early adapter and so flippin’ excited about it.

The next 10 years of your life are going to move fast and feel insane. In fact, I can’t believe I’m actually writing to you. Also one of your college besties just reminded you it’s Rex Manning day – so celebrate!

Love, older Rhiannon (who now goes by Rhiannon for real).

 

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