Felicia Day is my goddamn hero, and I don’t care who knows it.
Why? Because You’re Never Weird on the Internet (Almost).
I’ve written about this subject before, so I won’t harp on it too much. For the sake of the reflection, here’s what I have come to terms with over the course of 2016, with a lot of help from this book and from The Buddha Walks into a Bar by Lodro Rinzler, which is probably my second favorite book of the year.
- Everyone has a difference pace to life. In terms of my love life, I hit the jackpot. My career has been a little bit less stable, but still mostly enjoyable. After reading about Felicia’s pace and experiences, I felt much more at ease with the amount I am learning and at what rate, and how I can apply all of this to my future. Both her book and Tina Fey’s Bossypants have had sincere impacts on me and how I view my career path right now. Which is growing!
- The way we treat ourselves is extremely important. If I sit and harp on being upset or depressed about something in particular for the entire day, I have lost an immense amount of time that I could have made productive in other ways. However, do allow yourself to be upset. My general rule of thumb with this is allow yourself to be upset for an hour, and then move on. Try to find a positive in something else, don’t let one thing ruin you.
- Editor’s note (Yes, that is in fact still me): My first half of 2015 was fairly personally destructive. I spent a lot of time harping on what I had done wrong, what had lead to this point and how could I have done this to myself. I meant for 2016 to be the year to find myself and get in touch with who I am and what my goals are. I am a work in progress, and in spending this much time with myself, I’ve been able to address a lot of my negativity and move on from it. Accepting that is it there is difficult, but necessary.
- Pay attention to the intention you put behind your actions. If you come home and want a drink because you’ve had a bad day, reconsider. Instead, have the drink because you’d like to relax, and not out of “need.” Avoid being destructive with your activities, and instead be productive and proactive with what you do. Similarly, try not to gossip at work. Nothing good comes from it. I speak blunt truths and try not to beat around the bush when I encounter problems, because “ain’t nobody got time for that.” Be real, be positive, be yourself. Implement the “Yes, and…” rule.
- I’m not entirely sure I’ve learned this from a book, or from trying to accept more Buddhist teachings into my life, or whathaveyou, but I am a bit of a materialistic person. Physical things make me happy, however as I’ve gotten older, I’ve been able to step back and address why I am buying things and what good will come of them once I own them. In doing so, I’ve donated a lot of extra stuff from my house this year. Given, I’ve probably replaced it with an equal amount of uselessness, but as I said in my fav photo post, I’m enjoying spending my money on experiences instead of materials, and I’m getting way more mileage out of that.
- One last note, in the line of being productive and not destructive. Journaling helps me. I mean, look at what I’m doing right now. It helps when I’m having a really rough time expressing how I feel and need to put that energy somewhere. I’d prefer to be mad at some paper for 20 minutes than taking out my anger in a passive-aggressive note on facebook or calling someone looking for some advice, only to hear what I already know and be either more upset, embarrassed or angry. If I can spend some time being reflective on myself, I can better deal with the issues at hand.
- Okay I lied, this is the last note. Forgive people. Harboring all that negative energy is heavy, and will absolutely hinder you from being able to grow and move forward. When I was regularly meditating after a rough day, one of the things Lodro suggested in his book is to forgive someone at the end of your mediation, and wish them well. There are a few people who I’ve had some kinda not so great relationships with, that I’ve wished well. People who annoy me, people who I don’t get along with anymore, I wished them well and moved on. It was a good way of learning to let go of that negative energy. It felt disingenuous at first, but once I got used to it, it just felt like another regular thought passing by, and I stopped getting hung up on it. Hanged? Hm.
This is a classic case of “Oh today will be a hard day, I don’t think I have anything to write about.”
What have your favorite books taught you about life?
See you tomorrow.